“Sorry for bringing up that time your peers treated you like a doll”
“You spent all day doomscrolling, and this card is meant to remind you to touch grass”
“I ate the last piece of cake. This is not an apology”
“This is an apology-in-advance card”
Inside: “I will be awful”
“It seems like God is mad at us, and I don’t know why”
Inside– “did you do sins”
“do you want to do sins”
Inside-“but, like, the fun kind”